That Bitch Cray…What happens when you find out she’s a little crazy, but aren’t we all?

Lezbehonest, everyone has a little cray cray in them.  It’s all about the amount and levels of craziness that one person possesses.  When it comes to dating, you have to figure out if your kind of “crazy” is compatible with someone else’s.  For example, perhaps the person you are dating is a total type A.  They are manic with everything they do.  Is it best for them to be paired with another Type A (holy “To Do Lists”) or is it best for them to be with someone that needs a little Type A in their life and can handle the regimented Sunday activities (grocery shopping, laundry, homo depot, etc..) like it’s no big deal?  Dating crazy also depends on your threshold of crazy.  Are you one of those that feel like you have the patience of a saint?  That you can handle pretty much anything thrown your way in terms of crazy women?  Perhaps you are of the mindset that you can fix the cray in someone.  As a friend said and I quote, maybe you are “the mother fucking Teresa” of fixing girls and their problems and you can stick it out with just about anyone and handle just about anything.  Obviously, that kind of person has a high threshold.  Not all of us are blessed with that capability to be able to decode crazy.  In those cases, do you stay or do you run? 

Honestly, she was beyond cray.

My first gf ever was all kinds of crazy.  I learned so much from that experience and for that reason alone, I will never forget her.  The first thing I learned was never move in with someone you have dated for less than 6 months.  As she was my first girlfriend, I was not smart with my decisions and followed my heart not my head.  After only dating her for 3 months, we moved in together.  Yes, I committed the infamous “UHAUL” with her.  Like I said, I was a rookie lesbian and I didn’t know any better.  I should have seen some of the crazy signs she displayed prior to moving in with her but I was ignorant and stoooooooooooooooopid so I chose to ignore these things.  This girl had more issues than I have shoes (and I have a lot of shoes).  After discovering that she had stolen my social security number, opened credit cards in my name, and essentially threatened me with her psychosis on a daily basis, I decided I had enough.  And that was just scratching the surface with her amount of crazy.  So, I called my parents, told them to have a moving truck at my apartment the next morning and that I was coming home immediately.  They knew it was a dire situation.  I felt like I was living the movie “Single White Female” except I was dating the psycho bitch.  The only way I knew she would let me leave the apartment was if she had no clue I was leaving and wasn’t there.  I dropped her off at work as I normally would and pretended nothing was going on, went back home, and moved all of my shit out.  She came home to an empty apartment.  Like I said, desperate times call for desperate measures.  Did I mention she hacked into my cell phone records and my emails?  Oh yeah.  She did that too.  I feel as though I have a fairly high threshold of crazy and I’m a fairly understanding person, but this girl was wayyyyy beyond repair.  This one went down in history as the worst person I have ever dated in my life, boys included.  That’s saying a lot.  She was certifiably crazy.  I don’t think anyone could ever tame that one.      

Does this mean you're not into me?

Suppose, for your sake, your lady is not as crazy as mine was.  Suppose you encounter a girl that is extremely insecure and needs reassurance for every little thing.  She feels like you are constantly looking at her funny or thinking weird things about her and not telling her.  Is it possible to handle someone that needs to be coddled all the time?  Or say you are one of those people that thrives on drama and you can somehow create drama anywhere at any time.  You are not happy unless there is something for you to be talking about or worrying about and if there is no drama you will find a way to make some.  I find this kind of person pretty cray.  Drama can be entertaining in small doses, but who the hell wants to be around someone that thrives on it?  That legit, craves drama.  I sure as hell don’t.  I’ll pass on that kind of crazy, thanks.  Perhaps you are the kind of cray that analyzes every little thing possible to the point of no return.  You would find a way to analyze someone saying “hello” to you.  Imagine being with someone that hyper analytical?  If you so much as blinked the wrong way it would likely cause a fight.  Is there a good balance for this kind of crazy in a partner?  Perhaps someone that is a mute or comatose would be suitable.  Or there are those girls whose moods change like the weather in New England.  That can make it hard to keep up with things.  I’m personally partial to the kind of crazy in which someone feels as though you are supposed to be able to read their mind.  As if you are some kind of superhuman being that is clairvoyant and should know everything they want and are thinking at all times.  This is definitely the kind of crazy that can keep things interesting.  It can also drive you a little cray as well.  Or maybe you only see the cray in someone when they are in “ex” status.  The crazy only comes out after things have been broken off and they go postal on you.  This kind of crazy is not so fun.       

Maybe you are into crazy.  Perhaps you feel as though a little cray keeps you on your toes.  To those ladies, I salute you.  I mean, I found someone that likes my kind of crazy.  I even got her to marry me.  So I feel as though there is definitely someone out there for everyone, it’s just a matter of finding the right partner that can balance your inner crazy.  Lezbehonest, we are all crazy bitches in our own way.  My advice, embrace the cray but pass on the fish filet (#Kaynesaysitbest). 

I'm turning 31 next week which means another year of useless wisdom and experiences under my belt to share and torture you all with in weeks to come.  Hope you all have a happy 4th of July. Eat, drink and be gay!