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| To Stay or Not to Stay? That is the burning question? |
I was
watching the show Friend Zone on MTV the other day and I watched this lesbian
girl confess her love to her best friend of several years and it dawned on me
that this is quite a common occurrence. Sadly for the girl on MTV, her friend did not
share the same feelings she had and she got rejected on TV and things with the friend got very weird. It was awkward to watch. The big dilemma that I see with this
situation is that if you confess to the bff and she does not have the same
feelings, you run the risk of losing the friendship entirely. Is it really worth trying losing the friendship over
your desire to diddle her vajine? (pronounced vajeen)
First off,
I’d like to discuss the fact that there have been SO many people I have encountered
that at one point or another, have been or are in love with their bestie. It would seem obvious that if you spend
enough time hanging out with someone and you have a blast together, why
wouldn’t you take the relationship further, right? Wrong.
This, in most cases, is a recipe for disaster. A bff is kind of like sister to you. You share a bond that could be compared to
that of a sibling. So, for starters, who
the hell is going to want to date their “sibling”? That’s just bizarre. Unless you want to get on an episode of Sister Wives. Your bff is the person you are supposed to
tell all of your deep dark secrets to.
You share with them the kinds of things that you “take to the grave”,
that NO one else in the world would know.
It’s like, yay, they know all my shameful and dark secrets, now let’s
ignore all those times I told you I was a douchebag and let’s date! You can’t have bestie talk and then expect
all of those things to be erased from memory.
I don’t care if your friend tells you that you are a saint and you’re
shit don’t stink because trust me, it does.
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| This statement is not to be ignored. |
There
is the scenario when one bestie is in love and the other clearly is not. This situation has so much potential for
disaster. Think about this for a
second. If one friend is in love, and
the other friend is constantly going to them for love advice as a normal friend would, can you see the
obvious conflict of interest? When the ‘not
in love’ friend catches wind that she has been given biased love advice because
of the ‘in love’ friends real feelings, she’s going to be pissed. On the flip side, I’m sure some people are
well aware that they have a bff that is in love with them, and they just ignore
it and go along with it, because who wouldn’t like to have someone doting on
them and having them at their beck and call?
I smell resentment happening in this situation. Yes, the friend that is in love will
eventually start getting frustrated having to watch the one she loves date
other people and she will wonder why she does everything for this person when
she is not getting the one thing she wants in return? (Fast forward to drunken bar fight)
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| New Favorite word: Room Mating aka disaster |
I made the
mistake of sleeping with a bff/roommate at the time. We did
all of the classic bestie things together. I would drop whatever I was doing to see her and be there for her because I considered myself a good friend. At this point in my life, we were both
“straight”, but one night we got drunk and a bunch of my friends were claiming
they were the best kisser in the group.
We all decided to see who was right (#drunkcollegemistakes). I kissed a few of my friends that night but
when I kissed this one friend in particular, it was like the light bulb went on
in my head and it must of for her as well.
She progressed things from kissing to much more and that turned into us
essentially being in a secret relationship because neither of us was ready to
deal with the complexities of telling our friends we were sleeping
together. So we would “hide” our relationship
but not well at all. In typical first
lesbian relationship form, my feelings for my bff grew into feelings of love
and she would tell me the same thing but she also continued to have her own
boyfriend on the side. Sounds messy,
right? Well, it was. I ended up finally coming to terms with my
gayness and she basically shunned me and told all our friends that I “came onto
her” in some creepy way, which was far from the truth. In fact, she was the one that initiated
things every time because I was too chicken shit to do it because I knew I was
gay. Can you guess what the final result
of this mess was? Yes, that bff and I
are no longer friends. Our friendship
turned into me feeling hurt and resentful and it ended when I realized what a
douchebag she was to me. To this day,
she has yet to admit that she’s a big homo hiding in the closet and tries denying
the whole relationship between her and I.
This is the perfect example of friend love gone wrong.
So ladies,
lezbehonest, don’t be fooled by thoughts of “we are already bff’s, we know
everything about each other, and things will be so comfortable and great if we
are together”. Lesbian relationships are
complicated enough on their own let alone trying to make it work with your
bestie that knows all your dark secrets. So put a stop to any considerations
of diddling and scissoring your best friend and stay in the Friend Zone.
You don’t want to wind up getting embarrassed like the girl on MTV. Until next week…
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