Carpets or Hardwood Floors...You be the judge.

  

I’m going to take a bold leap from my first entry, which I hope you all enjoyed, and delve right into a topic that my friends and I discuss all the time.  It’s what some may call a bit taboo, but I just think of it as entertaining and interesting.  It’s the topic of girls and their shaving habits…down south.  Based on the title of this entry, I’m sure you can guess which will refer to what.  There is this big debate about what is proper shaving etiquette when it comes to women in general, and more specifically for us lesbians.  Let’s start briefly with women in general, meaning older women, straight women, etc…  Have you ever seen really old school porn, like from wayyyyy back in the day?  If you have, you know that the “big bush” was considered normal then.  If you have never seen old porn, well, you are missing out because it’s hilarious and ridiculous, but also, all of the women have what I call an “unkempt” area.  I’m talking hair all over there.  You get the picture, and it’s not a pretty one.  As time progressed on, thankfully, women started trimming, waxing and shaving and the mighty “landing strip” became all the rage in the early 90’s.  As we continued to move forward in the times, we progressed to women “going bare” down there, hence, hardwood floors.  I mean, nowadays women can even vajazzle their sacred area (think bedazzler for the vajayjay).  Needless to say, things in the “hair down there” department have come a long way.  For many straight and older women, I have been told that their “situation” downstairs really doesn’t matter to the opposite sex.  As in, men don’t give a shit.  Gee, thanks captain obvious.  I bet it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that one out.  But for us lesbians, the shaving debate goes into much greater detail.  So, how much hair is too much?

I don’t intend on offending anyone here (You were forewarned that I am brutally honest and these are just my silly opinions), but I am strictly of the hardwood floors mindset.  Perhaps that’s because I have a major aversion to hair in general and one of the things that grosses me out most is hair (the kind that resides on the body, not the head).  But, I also haven’t come across many people that said they LIKE hair down there.  Sure, if it’s clean, trim, neat and well kept, like a nice little landing strip, fine, we can deal.  But no one wants to enter into the enchanted forest and have to find their way to the golden treasure.  I’m just sayin.  For example, I met a girl that I was hitting it off with fairly quickly.  She was unavailable at that particular time so there was no chance of going further than just having fun and talking.  That was until she decided to break up with her gf and called me right away.  I was obviously excited and after going out for a night of drinks, we ended up back at her place.  The kissing was all around good and so was everything else until I discovered what was waiting for me “downstairs”.  Yup, one big bushy mess.  Fuck my life.  Instantly, things went from great to super awkward.  This was my first experience hooking up with someone that had a full on “carpet” and I didn’t know what to do.  I was frozen.  Was it because it was winter time and she was growing out her “winter coat” to keep things warm, as in maybe this was seasonal choice for her?  Was there a backorder on razors at ALL of the local drugstores?  I just couldn’t grasp onto what was before me or what to do, so I awkwardly stopped.   I knew this was the moment of truth.  I couldn’t bail or run at this point.  Did I dare enter into the forest?  I decided since I was pretty tipsy, I would approach this as the “I’m TDTF (too drunk to fuck)” excuse and try and curb things off without having to go any farther than I already had.  I mean, discovering it was bad enough, let alone going anywhere closer to it.  Needless to say, I was more than ready to offer her my razor the next morning. 

Is a carpet downstairs a deal breaker?  Not for all people I’m sure, but for me, yes.  If a weed whacker is required or unless she is willing to bic it all off, then it’s not a place I’m willing to go.  I can handle a little hair, but that old porno 70’s bush just isn’t working for me and lezbehonest ladies, I don’t think it’s working for most others either.  So do me a favor and keep that coochie cream and razor handy at all times.  You never know when the hardwood floors will need to be polished.