Reduce, Re-use and Recycle...or Not?

I am going to lead into my first blog entry with something that I imagine most, if not all lesbians can relate to.  No, it’s not about recycling your plastic bottles and paper plates. This is about lesbians and recycling women, or perhaps friends recycling their friends’ women.  I also like to call this, mowing someone else’s lawn.  It’s funny how you don’t see this trend all that often anywhere else except with lesbians.  For some reason, we like to date a girl, either dump or be dumped by her and then feel it’s necessary to “go there” again.  As if it wasn’t awful enough the first time around, you feel the need to go back for more?  Why do we put ourselves through this?  Why are we convinced that the 2^nd or even 3^rd time around will be any different than the 1^st?  Maybe we tell ourselves that they have changed, or they were in a “bad place” then and they are now in a “better place”, or perhaps that they have stopped their jealous ways that were displayed in the first 5 days of hanging out.  Perhaps, but not likely.  They say tigers don’t change their stripes, and well, lesbians don’t either.  If the girl you are dating cheats on you and then she comes back around and says, “I made the biggest mistake of my life, I’m so sorry, I’ll never do it again” and you take her back, I feel bad for you.  She will 99.9% cheat on you again.  Lezbehonest, it’s the hard truth.  I also love the classic, “I wasn’t in a good place then but I am now” excuse.  Ladies, if she didn’t have her shit together the first time around, she still doesn’t.  I don’t care how good in bed she is. Nothing has changed.

I know someone who is the epitome of reduce, re-use and recycle.  I’m quite certain all of the ladies she has dated she has also broken up with, dated again, and again, and again, and again.  I’m all about second chances when they are merited, but in these cases, it’s probably time to call it quits. 

This also brings up the issue of when your friends decide to date someone you have already dated.  I know you are probably all thinking, "If I don't date anyone my friends have dated, who is left?"  There are people out there.  I swear of it.  Actually, I'm living proof of it.  I'm not saying there aren't exceptions to the rule.  You could date someone that has dated an acquaintance of yours, but the difference is you are not mowing your good friends lawn (not referencing the green grass in their yard).  I'm not trying to completely limit the lesbian dating pool here.  So in this case, you have my blessing.  But if a good friend has already gone there, it's a no no.  It’s just not right to pick up your friends sloppy seconds fully knowing how awful it was for them. 

Lezbehonest, I’m guilty of this.  I had an ex dump me for a girl and then when that girl dumped my ex, I promptly swooped right on in.  Gross I know.  I hate to admit that, but it’s true.  I was warned that this new girl was a womanizer.  That she typically dated girls for 2-3 months and then would just disappear.  She did exactly that to my ex, but in typical lesbian form, I wasn’t trying to hear any of that.  Let me just say for the record that I did not have any intentions of dating this girl long term, she was my summer fling, and good thing because her legacy held true to form.  After about 3 months of hanging out, things dwindled quickly.  In typical womanizer fashion, we went from texting 150 times a day to about 5 and things had clearly run their course.  Here’s the thing.  I knew from the start what she was and went there anyways.  Should I have gone in for my exes sloppy seconds?  Definitely not.  That was a bad decision on my part.  Did I enjoy my summer fling friend with benefits?  Sure.  It was good while it lasted.  Point being, this girl didn’t change her womanizing ways and not for one second did I think I would be the one to make her change.  I knew better.  So that makes it ok (in my mind). But the romantic, optimistic part of a woman’s brain says, “I can change her.”  Trust me, you can’t. 

Lezbehonest ladies, save your recycling for your old beer cans and stop dating girls you have already dated and stop dating girls your friends have already dated.  There are plenty more girls out there your friends haven’t already deemed non-reusable. 

As Always,

BMAN